the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman

Once two kids of Satan's spawn
an evil boy, the girl a bitch
came upon a magic thorn
with which they pricked a sad old witch
and that was when the curse was sworn
and thus it was that then was born
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

Every year there is a date
on which all parents hold a feast
they eat and drink and celebrate
a certain hairy, monstrous beast
who growls as bad kids meet their fate
so listen up as I relate
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

When children disrespect their mums
or fail to listen to their dads
when kids forget to wipe their bums
or won't switch channels in the ads
or scream or sulk or suck their thumbs
tell them a tale, and here it comes:
The Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

If you're a child who's loud or bold
evil, wicked, bad or naughty
who in the dirty mud has rolled
a child who's proud or rude or haughty
with hair of black or brown or gold
pay attention when you're told
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

The mother who can't cope, it seems
will mope and moan and groan and whine
down her cheeks the weeping streams
it's sad, it's wrong, it's far from fine
her evil sprogs do haunt her dreams
one day into their ears she screams
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

Now she has no sleepless nights
she tucks her kids into their beds
before she turns out all the lights
she kisses and she strokes their heads
it's one of nature's cutest sights
she smiles and smirks as she recites
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.

"You're a stinking little turd,"
said the father to his son
"to you it never has occurred
there's more to life than having fun
now listen to my every word
and don't forget that you have heard
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman."

If you say "shake!" she'll lift her paw
like members of the canine species
she'll urinate upon the floor
or leave behind a gift of faeces
the ugliest thing you ever saw
only stupid kids ignore
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman

Copyright © S R Schwarz 2007. All rights reserved.

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