how the wizard lost his mojo

Book cover - AwarewolfA wizard’s life is not a happy one.
It’s blood, sweat and tears: not a lot of fun.

You’ve got to do all sorts of tricks
like juggling a pile of bricks...

or swallowing a sword
so the kids don’t get bored...

or pulling a rabbit out of a hat
to amuse some snotty-nosed brat...

or sawing a lady in half
just to get a laugh.

It all just gets a little too much
birthdays, barmitzahs, weddings and such.

Too many cold nights, too many long winters
my robe needs dry cleaning, my wand gives me splinters.

Pick a card, any card, and I’ll tell you a story
...

CONTINUED IN: Awarewolf, and other chrymes against humanity, illustrated

Available at Amazon.com

We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception if it were sufficiently hellgrown, twisted and wicked. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features 53 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

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eBooks by Cosmic Rapture:

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS, ILLUSTRATED: an unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms

FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition

HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated

martin olson said...

I love it!

Karen said...

The Wizard loses his mojo in a kick-ass ballad!

masterymistery said...

Karen, thanks heaps for your comment, which inspired me to change the title to include "mojo": much better! Great shades of Austin Powers.

masterymistery said...

Thanks Martin, high praise indeed from the author of "Encyclopaedia"!

mgeorge said...

A nice, bouncy ballad.

masterymistery said...

mgeorge, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your comment. MM

Antares said...

Utterly (not Arthur Lee) wizardly (not Wee Zut Li)! Deserves to be set to music and turned into a bigger hit than The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest...

masterymistery said...

Thanks Antares. I'm still working on the music. ;-) Cheers, MM

cheesemeister (too lazy to log in) said...

Git yer mojo workin'--a kick ass ballad indeed!

masterymistery said...

Hi cheesemeister, yes he is a bit of an Austin Powers figure! Thanks for your comment.