Mastress & Other Twisted Tails His name was Godfrey. His prison nickname was Goat. He yearned for a normal life, but had never Toad the Lion for long enough to settle down.

He’d been arrested on a Poultry charge of Storking, which would have meant a non-custodial sentence had he not been caught Badgering a witness. Six months into his jail-time, Goat had taken the opportunity to escape. Since then he’d been on the Lamb, the Pigs Dogging his every move. ...

Continues in Mastress & Other Twisted Tails now available at

Mastress & Other Twisted Tails is an unfinished, never-ending epic leading nowhere and currently comprising eighteen barbaric chapters including:
  • Mission to the Interior
  • In the Dog’s Arse, Chillin’
  • The Mountebank’s Tale
  • View From a Shit-stained Boulder
  • Meet the Parents
  • The Zombification of Bernardo of Albania
  • Enlightenment for Dummies
  • The Unfortunate Herstory of JillJack the Hermaphrodite
  • The Dogs of Death
  • How the Wizard Lost his Mojo
  • Alfresco Lunching Intense
  • Please Freeze Fleas
  • The Old One Tells of the Planetary Extinction Event (PEE).

WARNING: "Mastress" is a cacklingly bizarre read that may induce fatal hysteria. Recommended only for the strong of mind and stomach. Now at!


eBooks by Cosmic Rapture:

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition

HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated