Once two kids of Satan's spawn
an evil boy, the girl a bitch
came upon a magic thorn
with which they pricked a sad old witch
and that was how the curse was sworn
and thus it was that then was born
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
Every year there is a date
on which all parents hold a feast
they eat and drink and celebrate
a certain hairy, monstrous beast
who growls as bad kids meet their fate
so listen up as I relate
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
When children disrespect their mums
or fail to listen to their dads
when kids forget to wipe their bums
or won't switch channels in the ads
or scream or sulk or suck their thumbs
tell them a tale, and here it comes:
The Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
...
...
If you say "shake!" she'll lift her paw
this member of the canine species
she'll urinate upon the floor
or leave behind a gift of faeces
she's the ugliest thing you ever saw
and only stupid kids ignore
the Legend of the Dog-faced Woman.
MORE WEIRD POEMS in AWAREWOLF & Other CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY, out now at Amazon.
We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception if it were sufficiently hellgrown, twisted and wicked. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, more than 50 in total. Immature content. Unsuitable for adults.
NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.
AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.
MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.
FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition
HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated
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