meeting of the mindless

The presenter's voice was low and slow, the soporific drone permeating what remained of Anne's caffeine-deprived consciousness. In the grip of full-blown doodlemania, her glassy eyes stared into her notebook as her pen moved randomly across the page.

Interminable, the presenter's so-called words surged languidly through her skull-case into her soggy brain, the toxic monotony eroding her fragile consciousness:

"...committed to sustainably focus on debottlenecking our key deliverables, empowering and incentivizing optimal customer-facing engagement," continued the presenter, relentless and unrelenting as a tidal bore.

God don't some people just love the sound of their own voice, thought Anne to herself. Death by a thousand powerpoints... but only ninety minutes to go, unless some jerkwad asks a question, which is pretty much guaranteed... The realization multiplied her despair exponentially.

"...and given our objective to leverage stakeholder core competencies, our imperatives encompass picking the low-hanging fruit as key to implementing the new paradigm embedded in our mission-critical strategic tactics," the presenter paused. An almost imperceptible frown crossed his brow as his eyes swept the room.

"And externalising supplier desilofication will mean eating our own dogfood from the get-go," he said, "but that's enough from me. Anne, your thoughts?"

Startled into wakefulness, she looked up from her notebook.

"Uh... that's a no-brainer..." she stammered, praying for more words to come.

Then the solutionization of her predicament arrived. The fire drill alarm brought the meeting to a close.

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eBooks by Cosmic Rapture

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS, ILLUSTRATED: an unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms

FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition

HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated

Antares said...

Heh heh heh.

masterymistery said...

I thought you might find this amusing. To be honest it's a rehash of a post from 2011. Still, "best not to reinvent the wheel" I always say. Thanks for stopping by.