divine masturbation

Free! Awarewolf -- 3rd edition. One week only. For Kindle, Smartphone, Tablet or Download. Out now at Amazon.Long, long ago at the dawn of time
Even before the primordial slime
When stretching ahead were all the millennia
In which quite a lot, if not more, even many a
Tragic mistake or foul evil plot
Lay in the future but not the year dot.

At the start of the writing of history’s first page
(when many an era and aeon and age
Loomed far ahead to the greatest extent)
Took place a uniquely dramatic event
Some call it the bang that was huge if not big
(please pass me my drink and light me a cig).

Fiends & Freaks: fourth edition out now. Free, one week only

FIENDS AND FREAKS fourth edition out now. FREE one week only

Three and thirty twisted tails so outrageous you'll split your belly open shrieking with satanic laughter, or your money back. Mature content, adults only. Now at Amazon.com!

*FIENDS & FREAKS* Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn’t Want to Meet in a Dark Korner of the Kosmos

More than twenty nine sick and sorry stories of woe and evil sandwiches: mainly black and wicked. Epic. So to speak. As it were. Every one with a surprise ending. WARNING: Immature content. May induce cognitive dissonance. Adults maybe. Includes (but not limited to): > The Evil Sandwich > A Bad, Bad Feeling > Hags to Haggis > A Bitter Wharfage > By the Rivers of Babble-on > Picnic at Black Plague River > Laziest Man in History > The Dragons Went Home to Indonesia > Fried Liver Attack > Jack and the Green Chalk > Wild Turkey Dreaming

only the birdies

background artwork and animation by cosmic raptureNowhere to be, not much to say
last week, next month or even today?

Don't get all sad or twisted and bitter
cut it back, slim it down, tweet it on Twitter.

one hand makes dark work

One Hand Makes Dark WorkOne Hand Makes Dark Work" 45.5 x 35.5 cm, oil on stretched canvas, completed March 2015, commenced 2001 (?) or thereabouts...

Dreamtime: the Deflattening

Aboriginal pictographs in Wunnumurra Gorge, Barnett River, Kimberley, Western Australia In the Dreamtime before time and space the Great Serpent Koniara slithered and thrashed mightily, creating the Land of Oz, the Sky above it, and the Sea that washed its shores. And when his mighty slithering was done, Koniara called a great Corroboree to honour his creation.

Among those who came to the Corroboree was the scaly crocodile, Gumungung, who spake unto Koniara, saying, “O Great One, what thee or thou have wrought is awesome and immense, but there is no colour, no excitement, no magic or joy in the Land. As far as the eye can see, all is red and brown and flat as a toenail, and that’s more dull and boring than a pub with no beer. And newsflash: it’s also way too frickin’ hot!”

“My sacred doings be not to thy satisfaction,” spake Koniara unto Gumungung, “and yet I made the whole ball of wax in just two days not six, and I didn’t need to chuck a sickie* on the seventh neither.”

a bad case of the casements -- please explain

A Bad Case of the Casements: Please Explain - 27.7 cm x 35.5 cm, oil on board, completed 2015It's been a long time since my last post, and all I can come up with is this? I dunno what it means, if anything. Hence the title: "A Bad Case of the Casements - Please Explain". Crappy photograph, nogal (if you catch my drift). 27.7 cm x 35.5 cm, oil on board, completed 2015.

the devil cheats at marbles

One day the Devil came across a bunch of kids playing marbles in the dirt at the side of the road in the shadow of their school bus. The bus had broken down on the way to school; the driver had run off, God knew where.

“Hey kids mind if I join you?” the Devil asked politely, (but inwardly smirking at the prospect of some nice juicy roast kids for lunch).

They didn’t mind so the Devil squatted down on his goatish haunches and played marbles with the kids. But the kids were too good for the Devil — they kept winning, which the Devil found rather irritating. So the Devil started cheating and won a couple games, which made him happy, or at least vaguely satisfied in a limited sort of way, temporarily at least.

the gods must be lazy

The background image is MY BED, a work by the British artist Tracey Emin, exhibited at the Tate Gallery in 1999 as one of the shortlisted works for the Turner Prize. Superimposed is the figure of messed-with figure of Jehovah, from The Creation of Adam, a fresco paintd by Michelangelo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel between 1508 and 1512

This is a quick foray into the so-called "debate" about "intelligent design" vs the theory* of evolution.

For creationists, the human eye is an example of irreducible complexity that could not have evolved from the bottom up but rather must have been designed from the top down. The "intelligent design" argument is that the "irreducible complexity" of reality can not be and could not have been the product of undirected non-purposeful randomness (per Darwinian evolution by natural selection), but rather that the figurative hand and mind of an intelligent designer is evident, that the fingerprints of God/gods is/are found all over the universe.