the end of homo the sap

Once upon a fulsome time, when dark desires eloped with virgin pixies, and antelopes no longer pronked or sprinked upon the veldt... When no more cantaloupes in fruity embrace with swarthy greengrocers did entwine... When all the zombies in the world laid end to end---an undead chain twenty six thousand miles in length---did girt the Earth, and werewolves with gingivitis growled and grimaced in a hundred thousand dentists' chairs across the land...

A time of sorrow, when all was lost or drawn and braggarts and liars and con-persons were the order of the day... A sorry time, I say, a sad and sordid time, when durance oppressive pressed and weighed upon the minds and souls of most such that those on whom the pressure was the least, enslaved their fellow-jerkwads, thus kindly hastening the end... In those times, in those ways, at that cost, a specious species egregiously declined; the will of the sapient ones was sapped, and personkind into the All was gathered, once and for all. Thank Christ!