deranged telco crunching the numbers

This, as they say, is a "classic". Perhaps one of the great classics of all time. Got my phone bill today, all six pages, plus cover letter. The letter says, and I quote:

"We've been talking to thousands of Australians about our customer service. We're grateful for your valuable suggestions..."

So what was the telco's response to the valuable suggestions from customers? Wait for it, wait for it...

OK, here goes. They're changing the way that fees and charges are presented on their bills ...from three decimal places to two!

They go on to say, "For most items already charged in whole cents, this will simply mean that the zero third digit will no longer appear". Boy what an offer! That's going to make a huge impact on customer satisfaction.

But maybe not. Because as the letter goes on to say, "some charges will continue to appear with three decimal places...".

However, recognising the enormous anxiety people will feel at the prospect of being cruelly deprived of one decimal place of billing information, the letter concludes with the reassurance that "over time" they'll "work towards minimising those charges too".

If they had a fraction of sense they'd stop fooling with fractions of cents and concentrate on delivering a better service to customers.

This world is not getting any saner.