cigarette blues

woke up this morning, mouth like a toilet bowl
woke up this morning, mouth like a toilet bowl
need my fix Lord, to pacify my soul

cain't eat no breakfast, it all jus' tastes like shit
Bowl of cornflakes, tastes like a bowl of shit
One of these days, swear I’m gonna up and quit.

...

CONTINUED IN: Awarewolf, and other Crhymes Against Humanity, Illustrated

Available at Amazon.com

We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception if it were sufficiently hellgrown, twisted and wicked. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features 53 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

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eBooks by Cosmic Rapture:

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS, ILLUSTRATED: an unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms

FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition

HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated

Karen said...

Remind me not to go Down Under for a pack of smokes.

masterymistery said...

Karen, this is to remind you not to go down under for a pack of smokes. I think we've had the conversation about cost before, but as part of reminding you, 25 marlboro: $17 and the $A is riding roughshod over the $US at 1.08 per. Ridiculous. Thanks for stopping by, Cheers.

Antares said...

You'll burst into tears when you find out I pay less than AUD10 a carton for my ciggies here (duty free of course!) That's less than AUD1 a pack of 20s...

masterymistery said...

Jeez, Antares you're right about that! Can you hear me sobbing? 25 Marlboro in Aus costs $15!
I've switched to "roll your own" which is a little bit cheaper but still ten times what you pay.

SHUBHAJIT said...

Funny one, seems straight comes from the heart.

I am smoker too, not an addiction but a habit. smoking after a full meal gives an inexplicable satisfying feeling.

"roll your own" is the best way. $15 for a pack of Marlboro is too expensive.

masterymistery said...

Hi Shubhajit, I try not to take smoking too seriously, but yes it does come from the heart to a large extent.

I have "cut down" significantly since switching to "roll your owns" -- it's a pain in the butt!

A big chunk of the cost in Aus comprises government taxes etc -- The "nanny state" writ large!

Thanks for stopping by --- good to hear from you.

Cheers

weirsdo said...

Seriously, please quit. My dad , a preacher's kid, began smoking at 11 and died at 85 of heart & lung failure. I know that you, as an addict, are thinking you may get that "lucky," but if you'd seen him at the end you wouldn't see it that way.
ilike your blues, though.

masterymistery said...

Hi Weirsdo, thanks for your comment and your concern.

I have no illusions about "getting lucky". On the contrary, I feel the creeping emphysema in my lungs. Not to mention the damage to my eyes/vision, or the contribution smoking makes to my arthritis.

I'm reasonably fit and I try to stay that way through diet and exercise but I'd be a whole lot fitter without the smokes.

I should know better: My grandfather died of lung cancer, a long and slow and agonising death.

But I have to suppose it's not about knowledge. Otherwise, why would I, as an intelligent person, continue smoking?

And health issues aside, there's the issue of cost. Being the "nanny state" Australia taxes tobacco products into the stratosphere. Between my partner and myself we spend roughly $600 a month on cigarettes. And the Aus $ is currently stronger than the US $.

It really makes no sense to me at all. I don't understand a bit of it.

Maybe deep down I need to self-harm. I'm not aware of such a tendency on the non deep down level, but I can't conceive of any alternative explanation.

To quote from one of the Beatles' / John Lennon's songs: "curse sir walter raleigh, he was such a stupid git!".

Faycin A Croud said...

I quit smoking a few years ago. Now if I could just stop eating.

masterymistery said...

Faycin, I've got an eating issue too: especially chocolate gelato. Alright, I'll fess up: anything with chocolate in it is just fine by me.

Though "they" do say that non-commercial relatively unprocessed dark choc has significant health benefits.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!