Maryanne had lots of friends at school. She had a great sense of humour, which she put to good use Maryanne had lots of friends at school. She had a great sense of humour, which she put to good use telling jokes about other kids and teachers.
One day, during break she noticed one of the boys in her class, Daniel, sitting by himself looking very miserable. She didn’t know him very well, even though he lived in the house next door.
Later that day, having walked home from school she went into the kitchen and made herself a toasted cheese sandwich that she took with her into the backyard to eat in the warmth of the late afternoon sun.
Hearing a strange snuffling sound she stood on tiptoe and peered over the fence into the neighbour’s yard. What she saw was Daniel sobbing softly to himself as he sat on the swing his dad had made for him for his seventh birthday.
“What’s the matter?” Maryanne asked.
Daniel was startled out of his misery by her voice. He jumped to his feet as if caught in the act of doing something wrong.
“Leave me alone,” he said to Maryanne, putting on his gruffest voice, which wasn’t very gruff at all, under the circumstances.
Maryanne, however, wasn’t a person to be thwarted in her purpose. Five minutes later she was over the fence and in next door’s yard, applying all her skills to persuading Daniel to tell her why he was so upset. It took more time and persuasion than she had bargained for. But with her glib tongue and instinctive understanding of human psychology, she brought him to the point where he felt he wanted to share his pain with another, even a girl at that.
“You can’t tell anyone,” he said, “it’s a secret between me and mum”.
“Course I won’t tell,” she said with just the right amount of indignity.”
“Swear?” said Daniel.
“Yeah OK,” she responded, “I swear on my life I won’t tell anyone.”
So Daniel told Marianne the secret, which was that his mother had a problem with alcohol and his father was intending to divorce her. Of course, within a few days it was no longer a secret, but instead a source of great amusement among the kids at school. Whenever they saw him, they’d tilt their heads back and make glugging sounds as if drinking from a bottle. Maryanne felt a few twinges of guilt here and there but otherwise went about her business of being one of the most popular kids in school.
Continues in FIENDS AND FREAKS now available at Amazon.com
FIENDS AND FREAKS and serpents, dragons, devils, hell-beings, anguished spirits, anti-gods, gods and other horse-thieves you wouldn't want to meet in a dark cosmos ... Three and thirty twisted tails so outrageous you'll split your belly open shrieking with satanic laughter, or your money back. Mature content, adults only. Now at Amazon.com!
NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.
AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.
MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.
FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th EditionHAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated