Memo to all Hiring Managers

For hiring managers within the new Abrahamic belief structure (ABS) it is mandatory for the meaning- and/or purpose-seeker to conduct a behavioural / competency based interview with the relevant demiurge, per the example provided below.

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SECTION 1: BACKGROUND / PERSONAL DETAILS

Name of candidate: Jehovah / Tetragrammaton

Title/honorific -- tick relevant box [Mr] [Mrs] [Ms] [Dr]: Lord of Creation / The Biggest Kahuna.

Home address: Everywhere

Marital status: Singular

Dependents: Depends

Parents' names and address: n/a (I yam that I yam, the unmoved mover and the unmade maker).

Gender: Yes please.

(Hiring managers note that for safety reasons, long beards are not permitted in the workplace).

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SECTION 2: BEHAVIOUR-BASED QUESTIONS

"Tell me about a time when..."

  • ...you created a universe that exploded in your face --- how big was the bang, and how did you handle it? [...]

  • ...you encountered opposition and/or hostility to your plans --- what did you say? [...] (Note: If the response "Get thee straight to hell" or "go to your room" is received, the candidate should be asked to elaborate.)

  • ...someone asked you the Meaning and Purpose of Life, and the Nature of Reality --- what was your answer? [...] (Note: Responses to this question must be no more than 140 characters in length.)

  • ...when you were asked to explain why bad things happen to good people, and, what do you understand to be the meaning of "good"? [...]

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SECTION 3: FAQ YOU

Suggested answers to frequently asked questions (FAQ) from candidates.

Q: Remuneration? A: virtue is its own reward.

Q: Contract or permanent role?

  • A (i): Nothing is carved in stone.

  • A (ii) take two tablets and call me in the morning.

  • A (iii) My word is your command / you're not the boss of me

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ghostseeker said...

The majority of people calling themselves Christians are unaware that it is in fact the Demiurge that they worship, and they would be up in arms if they were informed of this fact. They prefer to remain delusional in the shell of their superiority complex--in the image of their maker.

masterymistery said...

Hi ghostseeker, thanks for your comment. Couldn't agree more.

In fact, I think all the scribes/priests who put together the scriptures got it horribly wrong: Lucifer ("light bringer") is the real hero of the piece. The demiurge Yahweh is wrathful, jealous, cruel and insecure ("thou shalt have no other gods before me")

masterymistery said...

interesting