For hiring managers within the new Abrahamic belief structure (ABS) it is mandatory for the meaning- and/or purpose-seeker to conduct a behavioural / competency based interview with the relevant demiurge, per the example provided below.
.
SECTION 1: BACKGROUND / PERSONAL DETAILSName of candidate: Jehovah / Tetragrammaton
Title/honorific -- tick relevant box [Mr] [Mrs] [Ms] [Dr]: Lord of Creation / The Biggest Kahuna.
Home address: Everywhere
Marital status: Singular
Dependents: Depends
Parents' names and address: n/a (I yam that I yam, the unmoved mover and the unmade maker).
Gender: Yes please.
(Hiring managers note that for safety reasons, long beards are not permitted in the workplace).
.
"Tell me about a time when..."
- ...you created a universe that exploded in your face --- how big was the bang, and how did you handle it? [...]
- ...you encountered opposition and/or hostility to your plans --- what did you say? [...] (Note: If the response "Get thee straight to hell" or "go to your room" is received, the candidate should be asked to elaborate.)
- ...someone asked you the Meaning and Purpose of Life, and the Nature of Reality --- what was your answer? [...] (Note: Responses to this question must be no more than 140 characters in length.)
- ...when you were asked to explain why bad things happen to good people, and, what do you understand to be the meaning of "good"? [...]
.
Suggested answers to frequently asked questions (FAQ) from candidates.
Q: Remuneration? A: virtue is its own reward.
Q: Contract or permanent role?
- A (i): Nothing is carved in stone.
- A (ii) take two tablets and call me in the morning.
- A (iii) My word is your command / you're not the boss of me
.
HOME
NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.
AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.
MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.
MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS, ILLUSTRATED: an unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms
FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition
HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated
The majority of people calling themselves Christians are unaware that it is in fact the Demiurge that they worship, and they would be up in arms if they were informed of this fact. They prefer to remain delusional in the shell of their superiority complex--in the image of their maker.
Hi ghostseeker, thanks for your comment. Couldn't agree more.
In fact, I think all the scribes/priests who put together the scriptures got it horribly wrong: Lucifer ("light bringer") is the real hero of the piece. The demiurge Yahweh is wrathful, jealous, cruel and insecure ("thou shalt have no other gods before me")
interesting
COMMENTS? Come on... gimme your best shot!