the evil sandwich

Once upon a brunch I bought a sandwich from a gnarled and rustic seller ensconced quite gaily in a gaudy booth one inauspicious day. ‘Twas ham and cheese: I remember it well, as if ‘twere but this very toothsome morn itself that I reluctantly but expectantly forked over six clinking dollarim — sponduleks if you will — to that aged and curly purveyor within zir gaudy booth that foul and fractious morn.

And though the absence of tomato hinted at the manifestation of dark forces as repulsive as a botched cosmological constant, still I remained initially at least unaware if not absent-minded as to the true and fundamental nature of the Sandwich.

My short-lived ignorance was indeed short-lived. ‘Twas sometime after the second bite, as I recall, but before the third, that the fiendish crusty triangles of that satanic finger food declared their foul intentions, made plain their demonic objective: to provoke an acid indigestion so potent and toxic as to render the very word “stomach” devoid of meaning ...

...

CONTINUES in FIENDS & FREAKS out now at Amazon Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition

This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet.

Immature content. Adults maybe.

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eBooks by Cosmic Rapture

NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.

MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.

MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS, ILLUSTRATED: an unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms

FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition

HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated

cheesemeister said...

Sounds like most of the eateries in the Netherworld!

masterymistery said...

Hi cheesemeister, yes, soon as I save enough sponduleks I'm booking me a ticket! Cheers, MM

Karen said...

So did you get something else less evil to eat, or what?

masterymistery said...

Karen, unfortunately not. I disagreed with something that ate me! Cheers, MM.