Mrs Codswallop took her broccoli for a walk most days, including unholy days such as this one itself.
At the Park she got talking to Jimbette McPhee, who was in a foul mood because her little carrots had weed all over the entrance hall carpet that morning. Which had been most unfortunate.
"Oh I know, I know," replied Mrs Codswallop, sensing an opportunity to score points against lah-di-dah Jimbette, "but this little one here," pointing to the cute little broccoli panting lunglessly on the end of a fluoro-pink leash, "I'm so proud of her. Every morning, without fail, she does her little doings in the corner of the kitchen by the fridge. And she's only five weeks old: almost a newborn in people years."
"I'm making minestrone tonight," replied Jimbette, by way of nothing in particular.
HOME
NIGHTMERRIES: THE LIGHTER SIDE OF DARKNESS This so-called "book" will chew you up, spit you out, and leave you twitching and frothing on the carpet. More than 60 dark and feculent fictions (read ‘em and weep) copiously illustrated by over 20 grotesque images you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.
AWAREWOLF & OTHER CRHYMES AGAINST HUMANITY (Vot could be Verse?) We all hate poetry, right? But we might make an exception for this sick and twisted stuff. This devil's banquet of adults-only offal features more than 50 satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes.
MANIC MEMES & OTHER MINDSPACE INVADERS A disturbing repository of quotably quirky quotes, sayings, proverbs, maxims, ponderances, adages and aphorisms. This menagerie holds no fewer than 184 memes from eight meme-species perfectly adapted to their respective environments.
MASTRESS & OTHER TWISTED TAILS, ILLUSTRATED: an unholy corpus of oddities, strangelings, bizarritudes and peculiaritisms
FIENDS & FREAKS Adults-only Tales of Serpents, Dragons, Devils, Lobsters, Anguished Spirits, Gods, Anti-gods and Other Horse-thieves You Wouldn't Want to Meet in a Dark Kosmos: 4th Edition
HAGS TO HAGGIS Whiskey-soaked Tails of War-nags, Witches, Manticores and Escapegoats, Debottlenecking and Desilofication, Illustrated
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